Thoughts about Mother's Day~

It is truly very fortunate for me that I do not depend on blogging as a source of income. Here it is, a year later and just now composing a new post. If only I could find an easier way to get the thoughts in my head on to paper or the computer, I would be a blogging wizard! Oh well, one day. Since this is Mother's Day eve, I wanted to jot down my perspective on a few things regarding Mother's Day. In my last post (last Mother's Day) I mentioned a few things about one very special lady in my life, my grandmother. Today, I want to mention a few things about several special ladies who have impacted my life in different ways and the various lessons I have learned from them along this road we call life.

Nelle- Nelle is my natural/birth mother and I met her for the first time in 1992. I cannot put into words what it is like to "see" your mother for the first time but looking into her eyes that day, there was an instant connection. Over the years, I have spent many hours thinking about things from her perspective. Sometimes a mother has to make decisions that are best for those they love but will leave a wound upon their soul so deep, it never truly heals. I know that God has a plan for each of us and sometimes that plan is difficult to understand but I also know that God is faithful and that He is good. One lesson that being adopted has taught me, especially after meeting Nelle, is that a mother's love never dies, is stronger than time, and is brave enough to make decisions that would break a weaker soul.

Mom- My mom went with me the day that I met Nelle and other that the few months that followed, we didn't talk a lot about it. My mom loved my brother and I and was very supportive in all we did. I have to imagine that going with me that day was very difficult for my mom but she did and surprisingly, once they met, they chatted on and on about me. One of the most difficult things I've ever done was to sit between them on a couch that day and listen to them talk about me. One lesson I learned from my mom is that a mother's love believes in answered prayer, is encouraging in all things and goes where other, weaker souls would not.

Gigi Stone- My grandmother was a hero to me. Her love was unlike any other and her laugh was the most contagious I've ever known The oldest girl of 13 children, my grandmother was a nurturing and loving woman who loved deep and was not ashamed to show her love in big and small ways.I could write a book about what she meant to me but one of the greatest lessons she taught me was unconditional love and kindness.

Judy Mink- many people throughout the years have asked if Judy and I were sisters or how exactly we were related. Although she is my cousin, she is more like another "mother". When I was in my teens, there was rarely a Sunday afternoon that I was not at her house, eating dinner and hanging out. I spent many hours at her house and she always made me feel welcome, safe and loved. One lesson that I have learned from Judy, regarding a mother's love, is acceptance. Judy is one of the most loving, supporting, accepting and understanding mother's I know.

There are many other women (mother's) who have impacted my life- (several of these women are Nelle's sisters, my aunts, who are strong and loving women in their own right. They accepted me, without question, and although they may not realize it, they have taught me as well). Mother's Day is to celebrate the Mother, or Mother's, in our lives. Sometimes those women carried us, sometimes those women raised us, sometimes those women loved us, sometimes those women inspired us and sometimes those women encouraged and supported us. No matter the actual role they played in our lives, Mother's impact our lives everyday. I am blessed to have had many in my own life. Although my mom and my grandmother are celebrating Mother's Day in heaven, I think of them often and love all of the women in my life and am thankful for the many lessons I have learned and are still learning!

I could not end this post without writing a word about my daughter, Katie, and the wonderful mother that she is to Judson. Katie inspires me with her faith, her love for her family, her dedication and support and her incredible strength. Happy Mother's Day sweetheart, I love you very much~ Mom

Legacy of Love......

It's obvious, from my lack of posts that I was not meant to be a "blogger". I really did have good intentions but I have discovered that getting the words from my heart on to a typed page is more difficult that I imagined. However, since today is Mothers Day, I thought I would share a few perspectives and memories about a very special lady. This blog will not be about my mother, or in my case, my "mother's". Yes, you read that correctly. I was blessed to have a mother who carried me for 9 months and gave me life and I was blessed to have a mother, who prayed for a baby for two years to adopt. There is a whole book waiting to be written regarding the above sentences but that is for another time. My post today is about my grandmother, Mary Bensko Tate Stone. 

As a child, when someone asked me who I wanted to be like when I grew up, my answer was my grandmother. Although her childhood was difficult, she was the oldest girl of 13 siblings; she had the most giving and loving nature of anyone I have ever known. She suffered many heartbreaking events throughout her life but she chose to focus on the positive. She chose to focus on joy, love, laughter, and doing things for others. She grew up in Brookside, AL and I still have very fond memories of going to Brookside every Christmas Eve to eat the BEST food and desserts cooked up by her sister, Annie Kerr. I can remember people coming and going out the back door of Annie's house picking up their coconut cakes, jellyrolls, smoked sausage, picachi, etc. to take home for Christmas Day. My grandmother was of Slavish descent and let me tell you something, she could cook like nobody's business! Anyone who has ever eaten Slavish dishes can tell you, if it doesn't have butter, potatoes, cheese and dough; it's not a Slavish dish! I stayed with my grandmother all the time and most of the time, it involved cooking. I still remember how to make picachi and haluski, and yes, it takes up the better portion of an entire day but it is SOOOO worth it! Now, I'm sure there are ways to cut down on the preparation and cooking time but I prefer to fix it the way my grandmother did, from scratch and with love and patience. Looking back, I don't know how she was able to do what she did with her limited kitchen space and oven but her meals were always perfect, hot and the best food I've ever eaten. 

When I look back at pictures of my grandmother over the years, there is one thing that is a common sight, her smile. Her smile was beautiful but more importantly, it was genuine. Her laugh, oh my goodness. My grandmother had a laugh that was infectious to those around her. You didn't have to know why she was laughing, although sometimes now, I wish I did but you found yourself laughing along with her. Her laugh was genuine, coming from somewhere deep inside her and finding it's way up through her pain, her disappointment, and her heartbreak to erupt in a joyous expression of gratitude and happiness of the moment. The perspective of this memory is that even though she may have had a legitimate excuse to be bitter (she lost her first husband at an early age which left her a widow with two teenagers, she took in boarders to help get by when things were tight, she lost her beloved son, Clyde, she lost her 2nd husband (my grandfather) and I could list many, many more) even though she may have had an excuse, she chose to be thankful for what she did have and not dwell on the things she could not control. She chose a smile over a frown, she chose laughter over tears, she chose doing for others over becoming selfish, she chose living a life that was full over wasting time in pity. She chose to surround herself with flowers and colors rather than living a dull, grey existence. She could take a piece of a flower that had been mangled, stepped on, neglected, and thrown in the trash and could literally transform it into a beautiful, thriving, explosion of beauty and color. She could do this because she was full of love and full of hope. She was a true, living, example of a servant’s heart. Remind you of someone else? Yes, she lived her love of Christ everyday. 

She sent cards to everyone. Birthday cards, anniversary cards, Get Well cards, Sympathy cards, etc....My grandmother invented the post it note system long before there ever was such a thing except hers was just scribbled notes, EVERYWHERE! My grandmother had address books, address notes, dates, names, directions, recipes, etc written in, on, and stuck everywhere but mostly in her Bible. I once asked her why she kept so many notes in her Bible and she replied, "so I always know where to find them". One of my fondest childhood memories is spending the night with them and reading the Bible. My grandparents read the Bible every night, out loud. They started in Genesis and read through to Revelation. I wonder how many times they read the Bible from cover to cover. Even when I was older, I would stop by my grandparents in the evening, just to sit and read the Bible with them. Another fond memory is going to wash the car with them on Saturday's and we'd always go to either Ollie's BBQ or Krystal after we were finished. I can still remember what we ordered and I can still smell and taste it in my mind. It's funny what memories linger with us and those that vanish out of our mind. To this day, two Krystal cheeseburgers, a small fry and a coke make me feel like a kid, riding in the front seat of that big ole car with them. 

Another memory of my precious grandmother was her taking care of the burial spots of those she loved. I can not tell you how many times I went to various cemetery's in Brookside and Birmingham and picked weeds and planted or left flowers. Even then, she still tried to take care of those she loved. I guess what I'm trying to say is that my grandmother loved life and loved trying to make sure that folks were taken care of and had what they needed. She would give you anything she had if you needed it. She was kind and caring. She was considerate and thoughtful. She was loving and nurturing. She was truly an example of Christ living in and through someone and I can only pray that I grow up to be half the incredible woman that she was and continue to pass on such a wonderful legacy of love....I love you GiGi and miss you more that words can express! 

GiGi and Papaw Stone...I carry her smile in my heart!

Back on track...

Well, well, well.....I started this blog 6 months ago with all the intentions of writing regular posts and I failed miserably. I wanted to write about my perspectives on a variety of "life" things and I came out of the gate ready to fly around the track and WHAM, I hit a brick wall. I love to write and have hundreds of stories rambling around in my head but for some reason, the thoughts in my head could not find their way, via my heart, to here. 2012, much like 2011, was a year of change and adjustments but honestly, what year isn't full of change and adjustments! So, what is my perspective on change and adjustments? For starters, life is going to be full of ups and downs, curves in the road, roadblocks, detours, washed out bridges, traffic jams and the list goes on and on. We have a choice- we can choose to let those obstacles frustrate and defeat us or we can keep pushing through them, find ways around them, build new bridges or sometimes, turn on your 4 wheel drive self and make your own road. The most important part of our decision is to "do something"- for those of you who are Andy Andrews fans, you'll understand that statement. I've never been one to sit around and wait to see what is going to happen and hopefully that gene has passed on to my kids. I'm going to do a better job at this blog thing this year and hopefully share some perspectives on things that encourage and inspire- at times they might frustrate or irritate but that's the great thing about a blog- if the latter occurs then leave a comment, it might spark a great conversation! As I reflect back on 2012, the word that keeps coming to mind is, blessed. I am blessed to be the mother of Andrew, a US Marine (no other words needed), I am blessed to be the mother of Katie, a daughter who has more strength and beauty than anyone else I know and I am blessed by the faith and character of Matt, my oldest son. I am blessed to be the mother-in-love of  two incredible individuals, Nate and Jenny. Their determination, faith and love overwhelm me at times. As we begin this new year, may you all find ways to make a difference in the lives of others, be bold to be yourself and make a choice to "do something" each day! In the words of something my daughter wrote years ago, "just because you can't see the picture, doesn't mean God isn't painting it".....Keep the Faith and Happy New Year!

well, here goes my first "blog" post....I'm not even sure of what I'm doing but hopefully I'll get better as I go along. Since the name of my blog is "Perspectives", I suppose I'll share mine concerning all of the recent events in the lives of my kids.

From a mother's perspective, we always want to protect our little ones. As they start to walk we want to walk alongside of them letting them hold on to our hand in case they start to fall. Time rocks along and with practice you realize that all of a sudden, your little bundle of joy is only holding a finger to steady themselves. Once they let go and walk on their own you realize nothing will ever be the same again. They can now explore a world that was once previously off limits and boy do they explore! As a mother, you are so proud of your little ones accomplishments and milestones each step of the way. Before you can blink your eyes they are in school, still running full steam ahead and becoming their own person. We pray that their choices in friends are wise and that they remember moms have a never ending network of "eyes". We listen to their laughter, their broken hearts, their dreams, their ponderings and throughout the process, we pray for them each and every day. We watch their personalities develop and we watch their passions and talents evolve into their lifes direction.

Over these last 25 years God has blessed me with the three most incredible gifts I have ever known, Matt, Katie and Andrew. He blessed me again last year when I gained a wonderful son-in-law (Nate) and a beautiful daughter-in-law (Jenny). I have prayed for my kids every day of their lives and one prayer in particular is that they would find the things in their lives that would enable them to not only be happy but to make a difference in the lives of those they touched. God has answered those prayers in the most incredible ways.

As I write this blog, my youngest, Andrew, is preparing to leave in June for Marine boot camp. His call to serve in our military was one that did not surprise me. Andrew is one of few words but has the heart of a lion. He has never been afraid to stand on his own against adversity. It has never mattered to Andrew what the crowd was doing, he is his own man and I could not be more proud of the Godly man he has become. He leads without saying a word but when he does, he means business. He is fiercely loyal and his smile melts my heart.

Katie, my middle child, never ceases to amaze me. Her gentle spirit and tender heart draws people of all ages to her. She is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. She has a passion to share Christ with everyone she comes in contact with and her strength is unwavering. Her and Nate's courage to step out in faith and follow God's call on their lives is truly an inspiring. They will board a plane in July to travel to Israal (yes, the country) for four years for Nate to attend medical school. If you're wondering what happened to all of the med schools here in the states, they're still open, it just happens that God has a special plan for their lives and that plan is via medical school in Israel. Remember the reference at the beginning of the blog about us moms and how we want to protect our kids....I can feel those little hands letting go of my finger again.

My oldest, Matt, has always been quick with a laugh and been a brother to not only his siblings but to many, many others throughout his life. He leads by example and has a strong, grounded faith. Matt never meets a stranger and is never without a look, a phrase (one of my favs- even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then) or a wink that causes me to smile. He and Jenny both compliment one another in their personalities which make for a wonderful combination. Whatever life has in store for them, they will attack it with humor, humility and faithfulness and without a doubt, will be successful in whatever direction God leads them.

So, what is my perspective on all of this. All of my little ones, letting go of my finger, walking and running their own paths. I must admit that my arm span is going to come up a little short of being able to protect them. Am I somewhat anxious, yes. Am I proud of what these next few weeks, months and years have in store for them, yes. Will I continue to pray daily for them, yes. Will I miss them, YES. Am I sad, NO. Now, I realize that may sound a bit weird but I am excited for what God has in store for them. I realize that my arms can no longer reach them every day but I know WHO can wrap them in HIS arms every moment of every day. I trust God to protect my kids and that His plan for them is better than any plan I could suggest. Why you may ask? Because they were HIS before they were mine and as much as I love my kids, HE loves them more.