Legacy of Love......

It's obvious, from my lack of posts that I was not meant to be a "blogger". I really did have good intentions but I have discovered that getting the words from my heart on to a typed page is more difficult that I imagined. However, since today is Mothers Day, I thought I would share a few perspectives and memories about a very special lady. This blog will not be about my mother, or in my case, my "mother's". Yes, you read that correctly. I was blessed to have a mother who carried me for 9 months and gave me life and I was blessed to have a mother, who prayed for a baby for two years to adopt. There is a whole book waiting to be written regarding the above sentences but that is for another time. My post today is about my grandmother, Mary Bensko Tate Stone. 

As a child, when someone asked me who I wanted to be like when I grew up, my answer was my grandmother. Although her childhood was difficult, she was the oldest girl of 13 siblings; she had the most giving and loving nature of anyone I have ever known. She suffered many heartbreaking events throughout her life but she chose to focus on the positive. She chose to focus on joy, love, laughter, and doing things for others. She grew up in Brookside, AL and I still have very fond memories of going to Brookside every Christmas Eve to eat the BEST food and desserts cooked up by her sister, Annie Kerr. I can remember people coming and going out the back door of Annie's house picking up their coconut cakes, jellyrolls, smoked sausage, picachi, etc. to take home for Christmas Day. My grandmother was of Slavish descent and let me tell you something, she could cook like nobody's business! Anyone who has ever eaten Slavish dishes can tell you, if it doesn't have butter, potatoes, cheese and dough; it's not a Slavish dish! I stayed with my grandmother all the time and most of the time, it involved cooking. I still remember how to make picachi and haluski, and yes, it takes up the better portion of an entire day but it is SOOOO worth it! Now, I'm sure there are ways to cut down on the preparation and cooking time but I prefer to fix it the way my grandmother did, from scratch and with love and patience. Looking back, I don't know how she was able to do what she did with her limited kitchen space and oven but her meals were always perfect, hot and the best food I've ever eaten. 

When I look back at pictures of my grandmother over the years, there is one thing that is a common sight, her smile. Her smile was beautiful but more importantly, it was genuine. Her laugh, oh my goodness. My grandmother had a laugh that was infectious to those around her. You didn't have to know why she was laughing, although sometimes now, I wish I did but you found yourself laughing along with her. Her laugh was genuine, coming from somewhere deep inside her and finding it's way up through her pain, her disappointment, and her heartbreak to erupt in a joyous expression of gratitude and happiness of the moment. The perspective of this memory is that even though she may have had a legitimate excuse to be bitter (she lost her first husband at an early age which left her a widow with two teenagers, she took in boarders to help get by when things were tight, she lost her beloved son, Clyde, she lost her 2nd husband (my grandfather) and I could list many, many more) even though she may have had an excuse, she chose to be thankful for what she did have and not dwell on the things she could not control. She chose a smile over a frown, she chose laughter over tears, she chose doing for others over becoming selfish, she chose living a life that was full over wasting time in pity. She chose to surround herself with flowers and colors rather than living a dull, grey existence. She could take a piece of a flower that had been mangled, stepped on, neglected, and thrown in the trash and could literally transform it into a beautiful, thriving, explosion of beauty and color. She could do this because she was full of love and full of hope. She was a true, living, example of a servant’s heart. Remind you of someone else? Yes, she lived her love of Christ everyday. 

She sent cards to everyone. Birthday cards, anniversary cards, Get Well cards, Sympathy cards, etc....My grandmother invented the post it note system long before there ever was such a thing except hers was just scribbled notes, EVERYWHERE! My grandmother had address books, address notes, dates, names, directions, recipes, etc written in, on, and stuck everywhere but mostly in her Bible. I once asked her why she kept so many notes in her Bible and she replied, "so I always know where to find them". One of my fondest childhood memories is spending the night with them and reading the Bible. My grandparents read the Bible every night, out loud. They started in Genesis and read through to Revelation. I wonder how many times they read the Bible from cover to cover. Even when I was older, I would stop by my grandparents in the evening, just to sit and read the Bible with them. Another fond memory is going to wash the car with them on Saturday's and we'd always go to either Ollie's BBQ or Krystal after we were finished. I can still remember what we ordered and I can still smell and taste it in my mind. It's funny what memories linger with us and those that vanish out of our mind. To this day, two Krystal cheeseburgers, a small fry and a coke make me feel like a kid, riding in the front seat of that big ole car with them. 

Another memory of my precious grandmother was her taking care of the burial spots of those she loved. I can not tell you how many times I went to various cemetery's in Brookside and Birmingham and picked weeds and planted or left flowers. Even then, she still tried to take care of those she loved. I guess what I'm trying to say is that my grandmother loved life and loved trying to make sure that folks were taken care of and had what they needed. She would give you anything she had if you needed it. She was kind and caring. She was considerate and thoughtful. She was loving and nurturing. She was truly an example of Christ living in and through someone and I can only pray that I grow up to be half the incredible woman that she was and continue to pass on such a wonderful legacy of love....I love you GiGi and miss you more that words can express! 

GiGi and Papaw Stone...I carry her smile in my heart!