It's obvious, from my lack of posts that I was not
meant to be a "blogger". I really did have good intentions but I have
discovered that getting the words from my heart on to a typed page is more
difficult that I imagined. However, since today is Mothers Day, I thought I
would share a few perspectives and memories about a very special lady. This
blog will not be about my mother, or in my case, my "mother's". Yes,
you read that correctly. I was blessed to have a mother who carried me for 9
months and gave me life and I was blessed to have a mother, who prayed for a
baby for two years to adopt. There is a whole book waiting to be written
regarding the above sentences but that is for another time. My post today is
about my grandmother, Mary Bensko Tate Stone.
As a child, when someone asked me who I wanted to
be like when I grew up, my answer was my grandmother. Although her childhood
was difficult, she was the oldest girl of 13 siblings; she had the most giving
and loving nature of anyone I have ever known. She suffered many heartbreaking
events throughout her life but she chose to focus on the positive. She chose to
focus on joy, love, laughter, and doing things for others. She grew up in
Brookside, AL and I still have very fond memories of going to Brookside every
Christmas Eve to eat the BEST food and desserts cooked up by her sister, Annie
Kerr. I can remember people coming and going out the back door of Annie's house
picking up their coconut cakes, jellyrolls, smoked sausage, picachi, etc. to
take home for Christmas Day. My grandmother was of Slavish descent and let me
tell you something, she could cook like nobody's business! Anyone who has ever
eaten Slavish dishes can tell you, if it doesn't have butter, potatoes, cheese
and dough; it's not a Slavish dish! I stayed with my grandmother all the time
and most of the time, it involved cooking. I still remember how to make picachi
and haluski, and yes, it takes up the better portion of an entire day but it is
SOOOO worth it! Now, I'm sure there are ways to cut down on the preparation and
cooking time but I prefer to fix it the way my grandmother did, from scratch
and with love and patience. Looking back, I don't know how she was able to do
what she did with her limited kitchen space and oven but her meals were always
perfect, hot and the best food I've ever eaten.
When I look back at pictures of my grandmother over
the years, there is one thing that is a common sight, her smile. Her smile was
beautiful but more importantly, it was genuine. Her laugh, oh my goodness. My
grandmother had a laugh that was infectious to those around her. You didn't
have to know why she was laughing, although sometimes now, I wish I did but you
found yourself laughing along with her. Her laugh was genuine, coming from
somewhere deep inside her and finding it's way up through her pain, her
disappointment, and her heartbreak to erupt in a joyous expression of gratitude
and happiness of the moment. The perspective of this memory is that even though
she may have had a legitimate excuse to be bitter (she lost her first husband at
an early age which left her a widow with two teenagers, she took in boarders to
help get by when things were tight, she lost her beloved son, Clyde, she lost
her 2nd husband (my grandfather) and I could list many, many more) even though
she may have had an excuse, she chose to be thankful for what she did have and
not dwell on the things she could not control. She chose a smile over a frown,
she chose laughter over tears, she chose doing for others over becoming
selfish, she chose living a life that was full over wasting time in pity. She
chose to surround herself with flowers and colors rather than living a dull,
grey existence. She could take a piece of a flower that had been mangled,
stepped on, neglected, and thrown in the trash and could literally transform it
into a beautiful, thriving, explosion of beauty and color. She could do this
because she was full of love and full of hope. She was a true, living, example
of a servant’s heart. Remind you of someone else? Yes, she lived her love of
Christ everyday.
She sent cards to everyone. Birthday cards,
anniversary cards, Get Well cards, Sympathy cards, etc....My grandmother
invented the post it note system long before there ever was such a thing except
hers was just scribbled notes, EVERYWHERE! My grandmother had address books,
address notes, dates, names, directions, recipes, etc written in, on, and stuck
everywhere but mostly in her Bible. I once asked her why she kept so many notes
in her Bible and she replied, "so I always know where to find them".
One of my fondest childhood memories is spending the night with them and
reading the Bible. My grandparents read the Bible every night, out loud. They
started in Genesis and read through to Revelation. I wonder how many times they
read the Bible from cover to cover. Even when I was older, I would stop by my
grandparents in the evening, just to sit and read the Bible with them. Another
fond memory is going to wash the car with them on Saturday's and we'd always go
to either Ollie's BBQ or Krystal after we were finished. I can still remember
what we ordered and I can still smell and taste it in my mind. It's funny what
memories linger with us and those that vanish out of our mind. To this day, two
Krystal cheeseburgers, a small fry and a coke make me feel like a kid, riding
in the front seat of that big ole car with them.
Another memory of my precious grandmother was her taking care of the
burial spots of those she loved. I can not tell you how many times I went to
various cemetery's in Brookside and Birmingham and picked weeds and planted or
left flowers. Even then, she still tried to take care of those she loved. I
guess what I'm trying to say is that my grandmother loved life and loved trying
to make sure that folks were taken care of and had what they needed. She would
give you anything she had if you needed it. She was kind and caring. She was
considerate and thoughtful. She was loving and nurturing. She was truly an
example of Christ living in and through someone and I can only pray that I grow
up to be half the incredible woman that she was and continue to pass on such a
wonderful legacy of love....I love you GiGi and miss you more that words can
express!
GiGi and Papaw Stone...I carry her smile in my heart!
